January Parents

A baby is due today.
We met with the very young couple yesterday--
they are confident as they approach
the threshold of Parenthood
for the first time.
As we listen to the baby's heart
and check his position,
the dad-to-be is
text
text
texting
away...
he looks up with a smile or two
every once in awhile,
then goes back to whomever has
his attention.

They have no questions.
Taken no classes--
not on birth
not on parenting
not on anything.

Mama is content
in her world--
"I trust my body to do this." she says.

I firmly believe she will have the birth she needs.
Whenever that time is...
it's not soon, tho.
Not tonight.

What about you?
Did you take any kind of birth or parenting class
before you had your child?

I've let this site go unattended much too long.
I'll be adding my doula experiences this week.
Thanks for coming!
Enjoy!

Every Woman Has the Birth She Needs

See these shoes? These Nikes with their bright orange swoosh?  They started walking the halls of Exempla Lutheran Hospital at 8:10AM on Tuesday morning.  They walked from the car to the Labor & Delivery Floor, then they walked up and down the halls of said hospital, rode on the hospital elevator to the top floor and walked down all the flights of stairs to the bottom and did that again and again. These Nike's rock almost as much as their owner.

 

See this girl, this is my girl. And Mr. Idaho's girl. I have first dibs though. Neener neener.   Meet the owner of the Nike's with the bright orange swoosh.  This is before the nurse ruptured her membranes to bring on labor for a baby that was 10 days overdue.

She even did her hair and makeup--because, as she put it, "I knew Mom would be taking pictures for her blog."  I haveta admit, I did the same thing, only I forgot to be in any pictures. I looked fabli-ous, though, really. 

When the Admitting Nurse asked Dani, on a pain scale of 1-10, when would you like to receive pain medication, Dani replied, "ten".

  

After her membranes had been ruptured for 2 hours, the Midwife said they would have to start talking about pitocin. Dani said "No thanks. I just need more time."  So she walked, and she squatted, and she sat on the birth ball, and she walked some more. And then she took a warm bath that helped kick her into labor.

She is 7 cm dilated and still on her feet.  But things were getting more intense, so we put her back into the jacuzzi...where she stayed until she was 9 cm dilated. Then she had to get out. And THAT was miserable.  She was comfortable, and coping wonderfully, but this hospital doesn't do water births, so she had to get out. We got her onto the bed, where she kneeled on the edge to help the baby come down easier than on her back. Which, btw, she hated being on her back.  By midnight, she was exhausted.  We all were.

Now this is where my Mother heart is raw and tender. My prayers were constantly for her to have strength to finish this on her own terms. At one point, she said, "I can't do this. I can't do this."  The baby was taking a long time coming down, even after she was fully dilated. Dani continued her breathing rhythm, with Mr. Idaho applying counter-pressure on her hips, and Diana and me at her side, breathing with her, all of us in chorus, praising her efforts and strength.

"You can do this! you ARE doing this! you're amazing Dani!

We're right here. We're so proud of you. Almost done, almost done."

Rubbing her shoulders and arms, applying cool compresses on her neck, and warm compresses on her perineum for her comfort.

All of our actions/thoughts were for her comfort and support.

When she had been pushing about 30-45 minutes, she was in an upright position, leaning back on the bed--she was so tired, and again said,

"I can't do this."

Diana and I were at her feet, rubbing her legs constantly, and I said, "Dani, listen to me, I want you to say: "I CAN DO THIS. Now, say it with me, I can do this. I can do this"--she joined me, and that became her mantra thru several more waves of contractions as she brought the baby down.  Even with tears, she continued,"I can do this, I can do this..." and we all in chorus echoed her words back to her, "You can do this, You can do this!"

Mr. Idaho's eyes were teary, as he became one with his wife. He praised her, loved on her, held her, and was at her side and in her ear whispering every good and kind thing in his heart. When she cried, he cried. Her anguish was his. Her relief was his relief.  She leaned on him and he welcomed every bit of it. The bond that was forged in those hours will carry them thru many other trials, I do believe. He continually expressed his love for her and reassured her that she was 'doing great' and in the process of giving her strength, I do believe he increased his own.

I was in awe of my daughter, clearly, this was a large baby, and we knew that going into labor---we suspected between 8-9 pounds.  Which is alot for Dani's 5'5" frame. We gave her honey stix for energy and the midwife gave her oxygen for renewed energy--which totally helped!

When the baby's head finally crowned, Diana, who had been a quiet supporter, spoke up, "Dani, I can see the baby's head-- you're almost done!"

Dani said, "They've been saying that for hours!"

Diana, knowing her sister so well, said, "They lied. I'm not lying. You're almost done!"

And with just a few more strong, focused pushes,

 

Garrett Theodore Bradley came into this world.

Ten Pounds, 8 ounces.

Twenty-one and a quarter inches long!

 See this girl. She's not a girl anymore. She is an Amazing, Strong Mother.

There's a Midwife Mantra that says, "Every woman has the birth she needs."

I love witnessing women give birth--it is such an empowering experience...

 it was humbling and emotional and I am left in complete awe of my daughter's strength and determination.   Dani needed to have this baby on her own terms, and she did indeed have the birth she needed.  I have never been to a birth where the baby weighed over 10 and half pounds!  I don't even know anyone who has...Dani earns the Prize. A gold star. She wins!

What a grand day!  

The baby, the Golden Child, is the picture of Perfection--a clone of his beaming father and the pillar of pride for his beautiful Mother.  Of course, I have plans on loving the dickens outta him for all of eternity!

I'm still processing this birth, so I may have left off other details and may come back and add more as I feel, and some of this may be jittery and disconnected.  But here it is.  My real life in my House.

post dated add-ons:  From the time the midwife ruptured membranes 'til the onset of real labor: 6 hours.  From the time of onset of labor 'til the birth 9 1/2 hours.  

Advice for Fathers

Advice for Men: How to Love Your Wife During Post-Partum

In God's Own Way and Time

As January winds down,
I have been looking forward
to a particular client's birth.
Mama J. and Papa J.
have been preparing for
their birth experience
with diligence and purpose.
They took all the classes,
read all the books,
watched all the movies.
Mama J. has been meticulous in her
prenatal care
from Day One.

It has been a complete joy
getting to know her
care for her
and plan for her homebirth!
So when I got the call this afternoon,
I was excited!

The Midwife called
said Mama J was in early labor
but be ready to go.

I got my gear together,
and got my house in order
so that upon my leaving
things would get done--
like dinner and homework.

Finally, just before dinner time,
The Midwife called
"time to go."
Hug and kiss the yahoos
and I'm on my way.


Mama J and Papa J are preparing to
go into their own ministry...
and their birth plan was,
and I quote
"to rely on the Word."
Being raised Baptist,
I know what this means--
singing
the songs of my youth,
praying,
and reading scriptures.
So on the way to their home,
I try to remember some hymns--
"Jesus Loves the Little Children"
"Jesus Loves Me"
"Amazing Grace"
"I stand all Amazed"--
I sing them all on my way
down I-25...
some verses are harder to remember
than others,
and I figure I can hum the ones I don't know,
in case we actually sing--
and then I wonder how awkward
it will be if I sing off-key
or forget the words entirely!


I decide it's not worth
worrying about.


When I arrive,
Emily is already there.
Mama J is in the labor pool--
she hears me come in
and looks over her shoulder
with a smile.
I love this woman.
She is gonna be a great mom.

Papa J. is sitting next to the pool
reading
praying
smiling
praising.
They're working together
perfectly.

So Emily and I
continue to set up what we can
until the Midwife arrives
and then
we get the rest of the stuff outta her car.

Contraction waves are coming
two minutes apart.
Mama J is smiling between them.
Breathing thru the waves
as they come
and able to smile
in between.
She's doing great!

The Midwife, Emily and I
step out of the bedroom
and give Mama and Papa
some time alone.

We're not out long when
we hear Mama's voice change--
it's not the controlled breathing
we're used to,
so we go in and breathe with her
to help her get into a rhythm.

We do this for a few hours.
Mama and Papa continually
vocalize their prayers...
sometimes Papa hums a tune
I do not recognize
but Mama does
and that's all that matters.

A few more hours of this
and Mama is getting tired.
We decide to get her out of the
labor pool
and stand her up in the shower.
She's hesitant at first
but standing up will use
gravity better,
and will speed dilation.

Mama J ends up really liking
the shower...
she has several more waves in there
and her water breaks.
That's when things changed...
there's meconium in the water.
Alot.
and it's thick and dark.
We continue to listen to
the baby's heart tones...
which aren't awful
but not good either.

The Midwife checks Mama J to see
how dilated she is now...
almost 6 cm
but the baby is high...
so the Midwife makes the decision
to transport
Mama to the hospital
which,
according to my GPS
was 375 yards away.
That's right,
it's across the street!

So we help Mama get dressed
and the Midwife goes with Mama and Papa
over to the hospital.

Emily and I
clean up
pack up
and head over to the hospital.
By the time we get there,
the baby is born!
And he is perfect!
His heart tones did dip down considerably
but his apgar scores were 8 and 9.

Mama J is renewed!
She is a little trembly
because of the adrenalin-rush,
because once they got to the hospital
she was 8 cm dilated
and went to 10 in just minutes!
Then once she was at 10cm
she just pushed that baby right out!

It all happened so quickly.
One could wonder
if we'd just stayed at home
how things woulda turned out--
obviously, things were fine;
but we didn't know
couldn't have known
how this little boy was going
to tolerate
the delivery.
And it's our policy
that it's better to be safe than sorry.

Mama and Papa both agreed
the right decision was made.
Tho their preparation
and faith
was abundant,
they accept that the events of their
birth
was according to God's will.

There's a life lesson there
that I think will benefit this couple
as they continue to grow their
ministry---
after all we can do,
we have to trust in God's will
even when we are unsure what that
might be.

Faith is believing in that which is unseen
which is true.

After a round of hugs and kisses,
Emily, the Midwife and I
headed down the long empty
corridors of the hospital,
feeling grateful to have been part
of the experience.
It didn't go as planned,
and still our hearts are filled
with gratitude
for a safe and healthy birth.
God does hear and answer prayers--
what more could we ask for?

I sang my favorite hymns all the way
home
while a full moon
lit the pathway home.

Little Man

It's 2:40am Friday morning.
Those "love hormones" are still goin strong
after a birth late last night.

The Midwife called around 8pm
to give me a heads-up
that sweet Mama S. was in labor.
It could be awhile tho
cuz this is her first baby.

So I got my doula bag together,
put on my scrubs
and lay in my bed with my eyes resting...
first births are usually pretty long
so I knew I'd better get a little rest
for the long night ahead.

The only problem was
my entire family was still very much
awake.
Nana and Daisie were downstairs
singing primary songs
The Caboose was in her room watching
"Spice Girls" circa 1998,
and Boofus was on the pc playing
some kind of game.
Mr W was watching "Burn Notice" in our room.

So I laid there
eyes shut
but not really resting.
Just after 9pm
the Midwife calls back,
"It's time to go!"
So I throw on my shoes
and am out the door and down the road.
I listen to "Delilah" on the way--
sucha cheesy show...
"I think I loved you before I knew you"
was playing.
I thought of this young couple
who are about to meet the newest love
of their lives...
then the "Titanic" song by Celine Dion
came on...
I don't know the name of it,
but I know the words--
so I sang them at the top of my lungs
zipping down I-25 South!

When I arrived,
sweet Mama S. is laboring on her bed,
very quietly
in the middle of a contraction wave.
I stand outside of the room
until it's over...
then I poke my head in,
smile and greet her,
"Hello, Beautiful."
She smiles back
with  a wink.
She is doing great.
Just breathing thru each wave.
The Midwife hasn't checked her yet,
and we both go out to the car
to get all of our supplies.

By the second trip in,
I got out my "cheat sheet" for the set-up,
and had just barely started the process
when I hear pure delight coming from
the bedroom,
it's the Midwife--
"You're Complete!"
Mama S. is dilated to ten already!
Oh boy! I moved as fast as I could
to get things set-up!
This was gonna go by super quick!

First thing,
get the instruments boiling.
Second,
get the baby blankets, hat, etc. on the heating pad
and crank it up!
Third,
set up the O2 tanks
and all the birth supplies...
I was seriously hauling my bahooey!

Emily arrived just in time
to get briefed by the Midwife,
slap on some gloves
and helped Mama S. sit up on the
birth stool.

Papa R. was at Mama S.'s side
and gently encouraged her along.
Mama S. gave a spontaneous push!
YES! her body is doing great work!
She hums thru most of the waves...
occasionally she looks up to me,
and I nod my head and smile
give her the "thumbs up" signal,
and she goes back to focusing
and listening to her
body.
The Midwife and Emily
cheer and direct Mama S.'s pushes.
We want her to push effectively
so she doesn't waste alot of effort.

Just a few pushes
and we see the baby's head...
one more push
and the head--
along with the entire rest of the body
comes sliding out!
Time: 10:31!
We were there just 45 minutes!
Amazing! for a first-time Mom!

Cheering and laughter
fill the small room!
A son is born!
While waiting for the placenta to deliver,
we swaddle the baby and Mama holds her son
with support.
We tuck warmed blankets all around him
and once the placenta is delivered,
Mama lays down on the bed,
and Papa R. holds little man
skin to skin
for warmth.
Papa R. is glowing.
Positively glowing.
Beaming.
It is a privilege to watch.

The rest of our time is spent getting
Mama to drink, eat,
bathe, rest, nurse
drink some more.
Taking pictures of the new family.
Doing the newborn exam
and packing up to go.
Mama is spent.
She needs a long nap.
Papa's got little man in his arms--
few fathers melt into their sons
like this man.
His heart is offered to this new child
fully, completely.
Mama S. watches Papa dress little man,
and smiles,
"It's okay, you won't break him."
Papa takes his place on the bed
next to Mama.
Her head meets Papa's head
and they lean onto one another
with little man
between them.
Now, that is a picture!

Mama expresses her gratitude
to each of us
several times.

In my mind,
it's me who is the grateful one.
I am grateful that I got to be there
and feel all that endless love
permeating the room
and every fiber of my being!
It is as close to getting "high"
that I will ever know...
and I am completely addicted to it.

On the way home,
Black Eyed Peas song comes on...
"Tonight's gonna be a Good Night"...
oh yeah it was!!!

January Waterbirth

The call came at 6am.
I was in the car at 6:15am.
Arrived at Mama K.'s house 6:50am.

I begin to unload the car
and begin the set-up
while the Midwife checks out Mama K.

I bring in the birthing stool,
O2 tanks and birth kit,
just as the Midwife is kneeling over
Mama K. who is laboring on her hands and knees
in her room.
She is quiet and focused
with her younger sister, Kate
is loving on her
with warm hands.

I leave to set up the rest
--place the instruments in boiling water on the stove;
lay baby blankets, baby hats, a tiny diaper and socks
on a heating pad and turn it on;
pour witch hazel on the pads for later
and tuck them in the freezer;
get out the towels
hand cloths
a bowl of ice water
for cool compresses
which will feel so good to Mama K.
once she really starts working.
Because, you know,
Labor is hard work.

By the time I get back in the room,
Mama K. is in the labor pool.
There is soft classical music playing.
Papa N. is there,
Sister Kate,
Granma,
and Mama K.'s 4 and 2 year old sons
are there too.
She is composed,
focused,
she looks so comfortable
I wonder if she's really in labor?

The Midwife says she'll check her cervix
after the next contraction wave...
which is only every ten minutes.
She checks her once
then twice...
Mama's dilated to 9cm and is stretchy!
Could it be?
She doesn't look like a woman in transition!
She is resting between contractions,
smiling
completely relaxed...

Papa N. is supporting Mama while she changes positions
to a supported squat...
she likes this position
and tries a few pushes.
At first, she is unsure if she's pushing
correctly
but soon learns how to push with her body
and makes each contraction count for progress.

"Dig Deep!", says Emily, the other assistant.
"That's right!", says The Midwife.
"Push that baby out!", says Papa.

Sister Kate changes the cool compresses
between contractions,
whispering sisterly love
in Mama K.'s ear.
Everyone needs a sister like Kate.

Mama changes positions to hands and knees--
she's not sure she wants to try that at first,
but then discovers it's easier to push that way
and really likes it...
she's making progress quickly.

Soon we can see the head crown
thru the water
and one more push
the head is out!
9:17AM--
one more wave
and there is another son
in the family!
9:19am
little 7 lb. J. is born!

Hugs, tears,
smiles all around...
the room is filled with love and joy.

Mama stays in the pool with baby
until the placenta is delivered 10 minutes later.

Then we help Mama to the bathroom
then to her bed with clean dry clothes
and dryer-warmed covers...
she melts into the bed
with a serene smile on her lips.

Granma brings in the older brothers
who smile and greet their new comrade.
I can just see these boys growing up together
and all the fun and trouble they will have!

The rest of our time in the home is spent
caring for mom
watching her body recover
and warming the baby skin-to-skin with Papa--
as well as
leaving no trace that a baby was born
in that home.

Papa says
Granma says
Sister Kate says

"Wow, this was great!"

We pack up and head home.
Just as we're pulling out of their driveway
a coyote runs across the street
right in front of us.
The sky is gray and white,
I notice snow clouds.
By the time I am home
it is a storm of snow.
Time to settle in for that little family.
There's nowhere they need to go
anyway...
the home fires are warm this night.